What is Love?

At the tender age of 23 years old (almost 24), it is hard to really know what it means to truly love something or someone. I've always questioned the idea of being in love, of falling for another, and I have always wondered how you know. When do you know that you love him, her, or it? What does it feel like? How often does it come along? I feel like I ask myself these questions often, but until today I don't think I really knew the answers. I've always heard that true love is hard to find, and the luckiest of us experience it once in awhile. Today was the 25th Anniversary of my second synchronized figure skating team, Team Image. At this celebration, I felt love all around me. I may not have even known every person in that room, but we were bonded by a sport that we all fell in love with at one point in our lives. For each person in that room I believe I can say we found true love in the people we skated with, and in the sport we struggled to master. 

My love affair with figure skating began with Amy Mancini (originally Amy Pellicio), a woman I would grow to love and admire forever. She taught me how to skate, granting me one of the greatest gifts she could have ever given me. She was my role model, and I could never thank her enough for putting up with me and my temper tantrums. She actually introduced me to the world of synchronized skating, a world in which I would (eventually) flourish. When I started synchronized skating (then called Precision) at 8 years old, I did not enjoy it. I was too selfish, too young, and too immature to appreciate the blessing of having 15 other skaters on the ice with me sharing the spotlight. It would take several years, a lot of attitude adjustments from an entourage of coaches, and another remarkable woman to bring me to love synchronized skating. 

Sylvia Muccio returned me to the world of synchronized skating when I was 14 years old. When I first met Sylvia I was scared of her. I could hear her yelling on the ice and I thought I was done for. But I would eventually learn that her bark was much worse than her bite. Her constructive criticism and instructions came not from a place of malice, but a place of passion and true love. I would eventually ask Sylvia to choreograph my show programs for the Murray's Ice show because she challenged me to push the envelope. I never would have expected myself to wear pant suits or halter tops on the ice, but Sylvia was full of visions that truly brought out the best in all her skaters, including me. Sylvia challenged me to be a better skater every single day, and I thank her for that. Most importantly though, she taught me that there is no better gift in life than to be part of a team - a group of girls who love each other through all sorts of trials and tribulations. 

I went onto synchronized skate in college at the University of Michigan, and I believe I loved almost every second of it. My heart fills with the most overwhelming sense of joy every time I think of my days holding onto my teammates' shoulders. It brings tears to my eyes when I think of the happiness that I have been brought because of synchronized skating. It is my true love. When I step on the ice, or think of my days on my synchro teams, my heart feels like it is about to burst. It feels so full that I can't think of any way to describe it other than to characterize that feeling as love. To me, love is that overwhelming sensation of not being able to breathe that pushes you to challenge yourself and always, always reach for more. It can bring peels of joy, or bring you to tears, but regardless, it is love. It comes without warning, and when you finally realize you're in its clutches, there is absolutely no way to escape it. This is how I feel about synchronized skating - it challenged me, it pushed me, it left me utterly exhausted, it stressed me out, it disappointed me, it forced me to make difficult choices, and at some points caused me actual physical pain. But throughout all of this, synchronized skating has given me some of the greatest moments and greatest people of my life, starting with one remarkable, passionate, beautiful, forgiving, and loving woman. To Sylvia.