Reaching for More

Meghan, Sandra and I crying in 2006 when Meghan went back to school

Anyone who has ever known me well knows that I cry. You know how some people are criers, and some people just aren't? I am a crier. The definition of a crier. I cry in movies, I cry when I see old people, I cry when I'm sad, I cry when I'm mad, I cry when it is entirely inappropriate to cry, I cry when someone yells at me, I cry when I hear a song with meaningful lyrics, I cry when I'm happy, I cry when someone dies, and I cry when I peel an onion. The worst for me is the TV shows, the movies, the strangers, that make me cry. I've always tried to figure out why I am this way and what about those scenes bring tears to my eyes.

Today I was watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy, and a girl name Jillian was brought in who had Stage 4 Cancer. She had left home with her best friend Rachel several years ago because she didn't want to grow up in an Amish community. She and Rachel could not return to the Amish community together because Rachel had already been baptized, meaning that she would have to be shunned. However, Jillian could return - and medically it was her best option. Rachel after much convincing let her go - and Jillian happily was able to see her parents again. Her parents earlier in the episode did not speak to Rachel because they were not allowed since she was shunned. However, after Rachel told Jillian to go home, Jillian's parents hugged Rachel and told her that they would communicate to her parents that she was well, and that she had grown into a fine young woman.

Now I know this doesn't sound like an exciting episode, or like there was very much sacrifice here. However think about how deep those parents had to dig to speak to, let alone hug Rachel, especially since their religion dictated to them that they had to shun her. These parents recognized the sacrifice Rachel was making and reached within themselves for more in order to face Rachel and give her the recognition she deserved. Again, if any of you know me you know I am not very big on religion. And yes I think it is insane that this person could have been shunned for leaving home. However, I do know the feeling of having to really dig deep to forgive someone, or to look beyond what someone has done to see the person they really are. I know how it feels to have to reach for that extra strength to either forgive, help someone out, or to merely just do the right thing. I think the moments that bring me the most tears are moments where I see people reach for more, see people dig deep and be bigger than they are. It is rare that we see moments of such beauty, and sometimes movies and TV shows have to remind us of them. But these moments are there! I strive to witness them every day because reaching for more is what we should do as people every single day. We should always give the very best we can and live the very best we can.

This year was a hard year for me, and I found myself in tears probably more than I would have liked to. I think it was hardest for me to witness people choose not to give that extra effort, when it was entirely within there power to do so. I cried when they didn't reach for more because I saw how it affected others. I live in New York City, a city that has a reputation for being unforgiving, rude, dirty, and busy. But today as I was riding the subway back from lunch with my mom, I saw beauty. I saw a clearly busy young woman give up her seat to a man who was blind in one eye and walked with a walker. I saw a man make sure to hold the subway doors open so that a young father could hold it open for his wife and 3 year old daughter who were still on their way down the stairs. I saw several people, of all different races, look at that man's joyful 3 year old daughter and smile. To me, this is beauty - witnessing a handful of people who chose to reach for more, and do more than that was required of them.

Every day I hope to reach for more. To give more than I take. I think that is all we can do.