Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game

Fear. What is the point of it? What does it do? Where does it come from? Why do we feel it? Fear is an emotion that I usually never feel except of course during those unavoidable encounters with spiders, most insects, sharks, and snakes. Some people get nervous before softball games, skating competitions, big presentations, or other life-altering moments, but I rarely do. Even this year when my synchronized skating team competed at nationals and ended up in second place, I was not nervous. I was merely excited, filled with a kind of joy that one usually experiences during those rare moments that they will always remember. But tomorrow I am leaving to study abroad in a small village in Gujarat, India for a month. I do not really know anyone else who is in my group, and I am so nervous.

Bertrand Russell said, "Those who fear life are already three parts dead." But did he ever travel to a remote village in an Indian desert during a heat wave (120 degree weather) with people whose last names he did not know? I don't think so. I do understand his point that you can't let fear stop you from living your life and having memorable experiences. Therefore I am jumping on that 15 hour flight to Mumbai, and then an hour flight to Ahmedabad to have an experience I probably will never forget and I am not looking back. (Well I may look back a little bit, but isn't that what facebook and email are for?)

But at the same time, fear is necessary. As long as you don't let it run your life or keep you from doing things that you love, fear lets you know that you are uncomfortable. It is a warning sign that you are entering a circumstance that may create change. And change is always scary. Some of the best experiences of my life were times I was a little bit scared of at first, even though I wouldn't admit it. I think everyone has a little bit of fear whenever they try something new, even if it is usually buried so deep in our hearts that we can't even recognize it. Who knows? Fear is just nerves dressed up in a different pair of pants.

So why did I decide to keep a blog about this trip? I'm not really sure. A lot of people told me I should, so that I can look back at my experiences once I return and remember emotions I have felt, thoughts I had, or events that I do not want to forget. But also, I do love to write. No matter how often I complain about the number of papers I write each year at school, or how much I hate picking up that pen to begin (or in this case opening up my laptop), I do find it relaxing. There is also something really nice about seeing your writing published on the internet, even if it is only your blog on which it is published.

Anyways I do not know how often I will be able to write on this blog because I am not sure how fantastic the internet access will be where I am going. But hopefully I will be able to write as often as I want. I feel a pressing urgency to do so because the nostalgia for college years has already set in and I haven't even begun my senior year! I know, I am a little crazy. But these last three years at U of M have gone by so freaking fast, and I just want time to slow down. I can't imagine graduating and being a real person because I am so good at being a kid. However, I do want my 21st birthday to come as soon as possible. But then time can stop for awhile :)

See you in India!